So done with dating...
I swear this will be the last date I'll subject myself to this summer. The very last! Honestly, I don't know why I put myself through this. I must be a massochist.
Why do people date anyways? I mean, why do we put ourselves through the stress, anxiety, & insecurity that go along with meeting a new potential partner? We put ourselves through hell trying to look our best and make a good first impression. We spend precious time and money on people who often end up not having been worth the effort. And then we put our egos on the line, facing the 50% chance that we'll be rejected, which, in turn, only enhances our insecurity. Is dating really worth all that trauma?
The simple truth is this: We date (and put ourselves through all of those painful emotions) in hopes of finding that special someone who we could have a lasting, fulfilling relationship with. With each new tryst comes the possibility of falling in love and finding a soulmate. The prospect of a new partner can also bring positive feelings, such as butterflies, anticipation, and excitement. And there's no feeling like falling in love (although chocolate comes pretty close ;)). But for someone like me, who is extremely independent and indecisive about dating (not to mention slightly insecure at times), dating can be torture!
At the beginning of the summer, I (foolishly) thought that it would be exciting to start dating again. I hadn't seen anyone since my last relationship, which ended in February...Well there was that one guy in April, but we won't go there. ;) Anyways, I signed up for Lavalife because I'd never tried online dating before & I thought it would be fun to try. I mean, I like to keep up with the latest trends in fashion, so it only makes sense that I should keep up with the latest trends in dating. ;) Besides, Lavalife is like shopping for men! You can browse through all kinds of single guys and find out what they're looking for, what their interests are, etc. You can even fine-tune searches to find your ideal guy (In my case, that would be any guy who is 6' or taller, brunette, and with either a fit or average build...muscular is ok too, sometimes, as long as it's not excessive or intimidating. And he must like semi-short girls! ;)).
I was all set to embark on my new adventure, but I wasn't prepared for the whirlwind that was about to ensue. I think my sister put it best when she said that dating is emotionally draining! Ain't that the truth! I became overwhelmed after adding way too many guys to my MSN list and I started spending way too much time chatting online--I can only sit in front of a computer screen for so long before I start getting antsy (kind of ironic coming from an aspiring writer, no?). And you'd THINK that out of all those men, at least one of them would have worked out, but no. In fact, I believe that I have officially tapped out the dating pool in this town, and it would appear as though all of the good men are, in fact, taken...or gay. ;)
I know, I know. I sound way too jaded and pessimistic. And I suppose I did get something positive from all of this: life experience. But let me give you an example of the kind of experiences I've been having all summer, starting with the most recent:
To make a long story short, I had finally agreed to go on a date with this guy who I had been indecisive about. But it turns out that I should have gone with my initial gut feeling (even though I now no longer have to wonder "what if?"). Ladies, let this be a lesson to you: Never underestimate your woman's intuition!
This date was doomed from the beginning, and all signs were pointing to "get the hell out of there!" To begin, my hair and makeup were NOT cooperating, which was frustrating the hell out of me. By the time I was finally ready, I called the bus stop & realized that I'd just missed my bus, so I had to walk fifteen minutes to get to a different stop. I was seconds away from it when the bus pulled up ahead of me, but because I was wearing my black strappy stilettos with the rhinestone buckles, I couldn't run to catch it in time (At least I looked good while suffering! Just kidding ;)). But just then, to my utmost delight, the light at the bus stop turned red. I figured if I walked quickly, I'd be able to reach it in time, but the damn bus driver ran the red light! So then I had to wait for another fifteen minutes for the next bus. And I swear that day had to have been one of the hottest in July! My make up was melting & I kept having to touch it up. And in that heat, my deodorant didn't have a hope in hell, so I started to stink (ew, I know). After transferring buses three times (it should have been only twice, but I accidently got on the wrong bus & had to get off at the first available stop and wait for another bus to take me back to the station where I was supposed to catch my transfer).
After waiting for what seemed like hours in the blistering heat, I finally arrived at the movie theatre, grumpy, sweaty, and smelly. Charming! I had called he-who-shall-not-be-named-but-whom-we-shall-call-Bob (or maybe just shithead) en-route to tell him that I would be a little late (It just so happens that the guy I had previously dated was also named "Bob"--Note to self: Stop dating guys named "Bob"!). He didn't answer his phone, so I left him a message explaining that rather than meeting where we'd initially agreed upon at 5:30, I would meet him at the theatre, which had been the original plan, at a quarter to six. When I arrived right at 5:45, he wasn't there. I called what I thought was his cell number, but he didn't answer, so I left him yet another message. I went to the washroom to freshen up & then bought an ice-cold water to cool down. I sat at one of the tables by the back entrance just in case he came in that way. I searched the building a couple times, but he was nowhere to be found. I waited for half an hour and then decided to head over to the Chapters, even though I figured that by then he'd be long gone. He'd obviously given up easily & had likely assumed that I'd stood him up, which is something that I would never do! Before we met, he kept saying things like, "Oh you'll likely run off when you see me," which is absolutely ridiculous, because I'd already seen several pictures of him, so his appearance wasn't going to be a surprise (What an idiot)! And I'd given him my cell number before I left, so he could've called me from a payphone to see where I was, or at least called his own line to see if I'd left any messages.
As I'd anticipated, he wasn't there, so I treated myself to a well-deserved shopping spree instead. ;) I bought three books and chatted with my favourite former manager (I worked at Chapters for nearly three years--and loved it!). Then I bought a latte & a new travel mug at Starbucks & headed home to have supper. On my way back, I called my sister on my cell & told her the whole sad story. And then my mom called (perfect timing!), so I relayed the story to her as well (Note to self: Bitching about men to your bffs is a great way to release pent-up frustration!). I didn't even get home until 8:30 on account of the irregular Sunday bus schedule. When I finally arrived, "Bob" was offline. He hadn't even left me a message or sent me an email. So I sent him a very firm, but level-headed email and said goodbye. I wasted an entire Sunday afternoon for him; I wasn't about to waste anymore time. To this day I haven't heard from him...What a jerk!
I swear this will be the last date I'll subject myself to this summer. The very last! Honestly, I don't know why I put myself through this. I must be a massochist.
Why do people date anyways? I mean, why do we put ourselves through the stress, anxiety, & insecurity that go along with meeting a new potential partner? We put ourselves through hell trying to look our best and make a good first impression. We spend precious time and money on people who often end up not having been worth the effort. And then we put our egos on the line, facing the 50% chance that we'll be rejected, which, in turn, only enhances our insecurity. Is dating really worth all that trauma?
The simple truth is this: We date (and put ourselves through all of those painful emotions) in hopes of finding that special someone who we could have a lasting, fulfilling relationship with. With each new tryst comes the possibility of falling in love and finding a soulmate. The prospect of a new partner can also bring positive feelings, such as butterflies, anticipation, and excitement. And there's no feeling like falling in love (although chocolate comes pretty close ;)). But for someone like me, who is extremely independent and indecisive about dating (not to mention slightly insecure at times), dating can be torture!
At the beginning of the summer, I (foolishly) thought that it would be exciting to start dating again. I hadn't seen anyone since my last relationship, which ended in February...Well there was that one guy in April, but we won't go there. ;) Anyways, I signed up for Lavalife because I'd never tried online dating before & I thought it would be fun to try. I mean, I like to keep up with the latest trends in fashion, so it only makes sense that I should keep up with the latest trends in dating. ;) Besides, Lavalife is like shopping for men! You can browse through all kinds of single guys and find out what they're looking for, what their interests are, etc. You can even fine-tune searches to find your ideal guy (In my case, that would be any guy who is 6' or taller, brunette, and with either a fit or average build...muscular is ok too, sometimes, as long as it's not excessive or intimidating. And he must like semi-short girls! ;)).
I was all set to embark on my new adventure, but I wasn't prepared for the whirlwind that was about to ensue. I think my sister put it best when she said that dating is emotionally draining! Ain't that the truth! I became overwhelmed after adding way too many guys to my MSN list and I started spending way too much time chatting online--I can only sit in front of a computer screen for so long before I start getting antsy (kind of ironic coming from an aspiring writer, no?). And you'd THINK that out of all those men, at least one of them would have worked out, but no. In fact, I believe that I have officially tapped out the dating pool in this town, and it would appear as though all of the good men are, in fact, taken...or gay. ;)
I know, I know. I sound way too jaded and pessimistic. And I suppose I did get something positive from all of this: life experience. But let me give you an example of the kind of experiences I've been having all summer, starting with the most recent:
To make a long story short, I had finally agreed to go on a date with this guy who I had been indecisive about. But it turns out that I should have gone with my initial gut feeling (even though I now no longer have to wonder "what if?"). Ladies, let this be a lesson to you: Never underestimate your woman's intuition!
This date was doomed from the beginning, and all signs were pointing to "get the hell out of there!" To begin, my hair and makeup were NOT cooperating, which was frustrating the hell out of me. By the time I was finally ready, I called the bus stop & realized that I'd just missed my bus, so I had to walk fifteen minutes to get to a different stop. I was seconds away from it when the bus pulled up ahead of me, but because I was wearing my black strappy stilettos with the rhinestone buckles, I couldn't run to catch it in time (At least I looked good while suffering! Just kidding ;)). But just then, to my utmost delight, the light at the bus stop turned red. I figured if I walked quickly, I'd be able to reach it in time, but the damn bus driver ran the red light! So then I had to wait for another fifteen minutes for the next bus. And I swear that day had to have been one of the hottest in July! My make up was melting & I kept having to touch it up. And in that heat, my deodorant didn't have a hope in hell, so I started to stink (ew, I know). After transferring buses three times (it should have been only twice, but I accidently got on the wrong bus & had to get off at the first available stop and wait for another bus to take me back to the station where I was supposed to catch my transfer).
After waiting for what seemed like hours in the blistering heat, I finally arrived at the movie theatre, grumpy, sweaty, and smelly. Charming! I had called he-who-shall-not-be-named-but-whom-we-shall-call-Bob (or maybe just shithead) en-route to tell him that I would be a little late (It just so happens that the guy I had previously dated was also named "Bob"--Note to self: Stop dating guys named "Bob"!). He didn't answer his phone, so I left him a message explaining that rather than meeting where we'd initially agreed upon at 5:30, I would meet him at the theatre, which had been the original plan, at a quarter to six. When I arrived right at 5:45, he wasn't there. I called what I thought was his cell number, but he didn't answer, so I left him yet another message. I went to the washroom to freshen up & then bought an ice-cold water to cool down. I sat at one of the tables by the back entrance just in case he came in that way. I searched the building a couple times, but he was nowhere to be found. I waited for half an hour and then decided to head over to the Chapters, even though I figured that by then he'd be long gone. He'd obviously given up easily & had likely assumed that I'd stood him up, which is something that I would never do! Before we met, he kept saying things like, "Oh you'll likely run off when you see me," which is absolutely ridiculous, because I'd already seen several pictures of him, so his appearance wasn't going to be a surprise (What an idiot)! And I'd given him my cell number before I left, so he could've called me from a payphone to see where I was, or at least called his own line to see if I'd left any messages.
As I'd anticipated, he wasn't there, so I treated myself to a well-deserved shopping spree instead. ;) I bought three books and chatted with my favourite former manager (I worked at Chapters for nearly three years--and loved it!). Then I bought a latte & a new travel mug at Starbucks & headed home to have supper. On my way back, I called my sister on my cell & told her the whole sad story. And then my mom called (perfect timing!), so I relayed the story to her as well (Note to self: Bitching about men to your bffs is a great way to release pent-up frustration!). I didn't even get home until 8:30 on account of the irregular Sunday bus schedule. When I finally arrived, "Bob" was offline. He hadn't even left me a message or sent me an email. So I sent him a very firm, but level-headed email and said goodbye. I wasted an entire Sunday afternoon for him; I wasn't about to waste anymore time. To this day I haven't heard from him...What a jerk!
posted by Miss Bradshaw @ 1:41 PM
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