Humourous Celebrity Snippets

Potshots at Paris

Starpulse.com just announced that Paris Hilton, who recently described her style as "princess," has purchased the plot next to Marilyn Monroe's grave to bury her beloved pet goat, Billy...I'm really not sure which is more disturbing: the fact that Paris is placing a goat next to icon Marilyn Monroe or the fact that prissy Paris even owned a pet goat to begin with. I shudder to think what the cause of death may have been. She really does seem to change her pets like she changes her boyfriends. With her numerous chihuahuas, ferrets, rotweiler, and confiscated kinkajou (although according to Metro newspaper, she must have gotten it back, because it recently bit her...Can we blame it?), Paris seems to be embarking on a new business venture: owning a zoo! Guess the music business isn't quite working out for her.

And speaking of Marilyn Monroe, Paris Hilton recently claimed, "I think every decade has an iconic blonde, including Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I'm that icon." However, according to a poll conducted by a reputable magazine, Paris Hilton is last on the list of celebrities who fans view as this generation's "iconic blonde." Topping the list was Reese Witherspoon and Jessica Simpson. Sorry Paris!

The lowdown on La Lohan

Equally as entertaining is the serial dater and car crasher, Lindsay Lohan. A recent newspaper article indicated that Lindsay allegedly had her first fight with boyfriend Harry Morton. To ease her pain, Lindsay — in true La Lohan style — partied all night and then had a "small fender bender" on the way home...Now, I think I speak for all North Americans when I ask, could somebody please confiscate this girl's car keys already?! I mean, isn't it obvious by now that she CAN'T drive?? For crying out loud...

"Damn it, Janet!"

In the August 21 edition of OK magazine, Janet Jackson claimed that her worst diet cheat was a Bellini...Yes that's right, folks: one measly Bellini! I think I speak for all of us girls who, from time to time, binge on chocolates, cookies, and ice cream (often all at once) when I say, bite me, Janet!