They say you are what you eat...

The same can be said for what you put on. In fact, there is a lot to be said for the saying, "Clothing makes the man"...or in this case, the woman.

As my girlfriends and I were sitting at a trendy restaurant downtown one Friday night, having cocktails, a young (good looking) guy came to our table to see if he could borrow a chair. As if on cue, we all said, in sync, "Well we don't mind...but our bags might." The young guy glanced down at the chair on which we had set our bags to keep them off the floor. He laughed and asked jokingly, "Well if I can guess which bag belongs to who, can I take this chair?" Since we were in the mood for some fun and laughs, we enthusiastically agreed, eager to see whether he would succeed.

He picked up Jackie's small black shoulder bag and examined it closely. "This is my favourite," he exclaimed, slipping the bag over his shoulder (I don't *think* he was gay...). "It's simple and practical" (See?? Guys really are easy to please ;)). Next, he studied Angie's bag and praised it for its classic elegance. Next was my turn. "This bag wins for softness!" He proclaimed, petting my tiny leopard print Guess purse.

In the end, he was wrong about which bag belonged to who, but if he had known us better, I'm sure he would have had no trouble figuring it out. As he was describing each of our bags, I couldn't help but notice how our choice of accessories, and even our cocktails, reflected our unique personalities: Angie, the "Charlotte" of our group (I say this because of her style and because she is the only one of us who is married, and Charlotte was always the one who wanted to get married. And like Charlotte, Ang has warm brown eyes, which give her an innocent air. I should note, however, that Angie is a lot smarter than Charlotte and is in no way naive), is classic and conservative. Her dark, unadorned evening bag and rose wine mirrored these characteristics. Jackie, on the other hand, is the sporty one of the group. She's more like Miranda, although she's a total sweetheart & doesn't have a bitchy bone in her body. ;) Jax's practical purse and marguerita reflected her down-to-earth, fun-loving style. As for me, I like to describe my own style as a mix of classic, glamourous, and trendy, which I think was reflected in my leopard print bag and Cosmopolitan.

This discovery reminded me of our recent trip to the spa, & I realized that even our choice of nail polish demonstrated our personal styles. Angie had chosen a classic shade of red, while Jackie opted for burgandy. I, on the other hand, went for trendy black.

We had all noticed our preferences at the time and had even jokingly nicknamed ourselves "Classic Spice," "Sporty Spice," and "Trendy Spice" (What can I say? We grew up in the 90s and were fans of the Spice Girls ;)). But it wasn't until an outside observer described each of our bags that I realized just how pronounced our styles are and how much we compliment each other.

Thus, in the spirit of this discovery, I believe it's time to update the old adage: Clothing may make the man, but clothing, shoes, accessories, and cosmetics make the woman. ;)

It's Not the Size That Counts; It's What You Do With It

"I thought I had come to terms with my looks the year I turned 30; when I realized that I no longer had the energy to be completely superficial." - Carrie Bradshaw, Sex in the City, Season 1

Like Carrie Bradshaw and millions of women all over the world, I too have yet to come to terms with my looks. Over the years, I've lost weight, gained weight, changed my hair, changed my clothes, gotten piercings & then removed them--you name it--but I'm still not completely satisfied and confident with who I am (I'm still in the process of discovering who that is).

It's a perpetual problem that all women face; we always want the opposite of what we have. Women with straight hair want curly hair; women who are skinny want to be curvy (case in point: Cameron Diaz, who once claimed, "all my life all I have ever wanted to be is curvaceous and voluptuous [and] have everything falling out everywhere."). Why is it impossible for us to be satisfied with who we are and what we have?

As much as I love and am a slave to fashion, I know that these feelings of dissatisfaction are only reinforced in magazines and style guides, which show small chested girls how to dress in order to make their busts appear larger, and larger busted girls how to dress to minimize their assets. It seems fashion is always trying to teach us how to make our bodies look the opposite of what they are.

As I just pointed out with Cameron Diaz's quote, even celebrities--the "perfect" people society upholds as icons--have insecurities and things about their bodies they'd like to change. Keira Knightley, for example, recently admitted that she was happy with her looks before she entered showbusiness: "I've been to photo shoots where the photographer has told me he'd kept my legs out of shot so I don't need to worry about them - that of course makes you worry. Then I've had make-up artists who've told me they need to shade the top of my nose so it won't look so broken. I also got rejected for a job once because someone said I had a funny mouth. ... You start off thinking you're OK, then you have to go to some event and you remember you have a weird mouth, a broken nose and horrible legs." Kate Moss, who makes millions thanks to her looks, complains that she has "crooked teeth, bow legs and a wonky nose."

Now, I may not be 30 yet, but I'd like to think that I've acquired some wisdom concerning this topic since working at a high-end retail clothing store for the past few months. I've learned that women come in all shapes and sizes, and the majority of them are not a size 0 or 2. And surprisingly enough, those who are size 0 are oftentimes just as discouraged with their bodies as those who are several sizes larger, because they can't fill out the clothes they want to wear.

Edit: Another case in point: I recently had a customer who is exactly my height (maybe half an inch taller) & incredibly tiny. We had a very heartfelt discussion about body image, which was initiated after she candidly asked me, "Do you think I'm too thin?" I reassured her that she is at a healthy weight for her height, albeit on the low end, and that if she is unssatisfied with her appearance (she seemed genuinely concerned), that the solution was simple: Eat, darling, eat! (I stole that line from a sign in a restaurant that my sister went to lol)

The whole ordeal reinforced the fact that even thin girls are often insecure about or dissatisfied with their looks. Being thin doesn't make you happy; in fact, I strongly believe that aspiring to be thin makes people miserable! It's often a losing battle to fight genetics & we can only do so much to change ourselves; we can't change our body types. I honestly think that we could all be a lot happier if we just learned to accept ourselves & enjoy life (& part of enjoying life is eating what you love). Because there's so much more to life than dress size & you can't measure your self worth by the size of your jeans! Who's to say that thin is better? Celebrities?? Well we can't place ourselves on the same playing field as them (I'll say more on that later). We expect a lot more from celebrities, & it's part of their profession to look a certain way. Besides, we're not all on TV, in movies, or in magazines, so why should we be constantly concerned about the way we look?? (It's like having to deal with the same stress that celebrities deal with...only without the fat paycheck to compensate!) I'm sure most celebrities wish they could eat whatever they want whenever they want, but most can't. And just look at how many celebrities are miserable and sick because of their obsession with being thin. It's unhealthy!! But I digress...

This brings me to the most important lesson I've learned thus far: Despite what the media want us to think, we don't all have to be size 0 or 2 to look good; we just need to work with what we've got! When it comes to clothes, there are a multitude of colours, fabrics, patterns, & cuts designed to do different things, such as camouflaging or enhancing. What we need to do is dress for our body types so that we, like savvy businesswomen, can accentuate our assets and minimize our "flaws"--I put "flaws" in quotations because they are often deemed as such only in our own eyes (or by the media). But our flaws are what make us who we are, and we should embrace them as we embrace our assets. As corny as it may sound, we need to love ourselves unconditionally, flaws & all.

As an example of what I mean by dressing for our unique body types, this past Christmas, my store received a stunning silk strapless babydoll dress with rutching on the bustline. As much as I loved it, I was disappointed to find that I simply couldn't wear it; it just didn't suit my body type. I figured that the rutching would enhance my modest bust, but, in fact, the dress just made me look pregnant (which, I suppose, is what baby doll dresses do. And yes, I do realize that voluminous dresses are in style this season). I soon saw that other girls with similar body types were also unable to pull off the dress and were equally disparaged. HOWEVER, I discovered that the dress looked fantastic on women who had curvier physiques (but not *too* curvy). They were able to fill out the upper portion, which enhanced and flaunted their cleavage, while the lower portion concealed a curvier mid or lower section. My theory was later confirmed when, at sale time, all of the dresses were sold out, except for the smallest sizes. Thus, it really doesn't matter whether you're a size 2 or a size 8, as long as you know what works best on your body.

I would like to proffer one last important piece of advice: Ladies, please do not ever feel you need to change your body in any way for a man. Because truth be told, every guy has his own preferences and you want to find one who will love you for you. It upsets me to see how many girls put themselves through hell, dieting and exercising to look a certain way, just so that they can attract a man, even though several surveys have shown that most men prefer women with a bit of meat on them (more cushion for the pushin'). But as I said, every guy is different and if you're not a waif, then you'll likely want to avoid guys who are turned on by stick figures.

One of my best friends happens to be male, and one of the reasons we've been able to remain such good friends is that we're not really each other's types; he likes the curvy babes who've got back (and I, sadly, have a flat ass). This is the reality of the situation: Some men like big breasts, while others prefer small. Some guys like tall girls while others prefer petite. Think of it this way: We don't all go for the pretty boy Brad Pitt type (I know I sure don't! Give me a tall, dark, and handsome guy any day!), so how can we assume that all men want wispy blondes with dark tans & big breasts??

What we need is to love ourselves and feel comfortable with our own bodies. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Because no matter what, if we aren't comfortable in our own skin, then we'll never feel assured or worthy of someone else's affection. The saying is cliche, but only because it's true: You need to love yourself before anyone else can love you.

Slowly but surely I'm beginning to accept the fact that I've inherited my mother's figure & thus may never have a shapely behind, curvy hips, or an ample bosom. I have, however, inherited her slim build, for which I am grateful. I'm relatively small all around, except for my midsection, which is where any weight I gain goes (once again, I have my mother to thank for that ;)). And being petite (I'm 5'3.5'') means that any weight I do gain is just that much more noticeable, especially since it's not evenly distributed. If I were taller, I would be able to carry a bit of extra weight, because as my 5'10'' coworker says, there's more places to put it. ;) In fact, I find that taller girls look better with curves, whereas when they're skinny, they just look skeletal (think runway models). Luckily, when I gain weight, some of it does go to my breasts, but I'm still just a B cup. But I'm slowly beginning to learn how to dress in a way that flatters my figure. For example, I love to wear flouncy shirts that hide belly bulges over skinny jeans, which flaunt my slimmer lower half.

I also have to accept the fact that I'll never be naturally tan & that any tan I ever hope to achieve will have to come from a bottle or a booth, because I just burn in natural sunlight (And let me tell you, it can be quite embarassing to come back from Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, only to be asked by the customs guard, "So where's your tan?!").

Whether or not these are flaws, I haven't yet decided. In the media's eyes, they are flaws, and the media tries to dictate what is beautiful and what isn't. But beauty concepts are constantly changing. If I were living in the Victorian Era, I'd probably be considered upper class due to my fair skin and the fact that I have some meat on my bones. Which raises an important point. Why is it that beauty is always dictated by the upper class? In the Victorian era, tans were a sign of the working class, because labourers had to toil outside under the blistering sun. And thinness was a sign of poverty, because it meant that a person was unable to afford food.

Today tans and thinness are signs of wealth, because only the wealthy can afford personal trainers, nutritionists, personal chefs, weekly tanning sessions, and frequent trips to tropical destinations (A friend and former coworker lent me a book called "The Beauty Myth," which discusses this phenomenon in further detail). Why should we let celebrities, whose jobs it is to look "good" at all times, dictate how the rest of us should look?? It's like Tyra Banks said (and can I just say how fabulous and healthy she looks now & how much I admire her for standing up for herself and all the curvy girls out there! You rock, Tyra!!!); she was able to gain weight because she's not a model anymore. There is an incredible amount of pressure on celebrities to be thin. Many, if not all, of them spend hours each day at the gym just to maintain their physiques. But why should those of us who don't spend our lives in the public eye or in front of a camera expect the same of ourselves?? It's just not realistic.

I think Eva Mendes had it right when she said, "My vision of a perfect body is a really healthy one. You have the tall, slender Gisele Bundchen-like perfect body. Then you have the Jennifer Lopez perfect body, and then you have the Beyonce perfect body. I appreciate women in all shapes and sizes because we are beautiful creatures." Amen to that, sister!

Starvation: The Secret to a Star's Svelte Shape?

Not so long ago, I was singing Jessica Simpson's praises after hearing that the songbird had said, "You can't strut if you're skinny. You need a little bounce." I admired Jessica, who was recently praised in a popular magazine for her famous curves and for promoting a healthy, more realistic body type.

But I'm afraid that my respect for Jessica is shrinking almost as fast as her figure. The star has reportedly lost eight pounds in recent months. This came as a shock, considering Jessica didn't "have an ounce of fat on her," according to one source. Where she was stashing those extra pounds, I can only guess (though her breasts look as large as ever...).

Us Magazine detailed "A Day in [Jessica's] Diet," and I got hunger pains from just reading the meagre list! For breakfast, Jessica is allowed "a small cup of Special K cereal." For lunch, she eats a "large salad with either grilled chicken or fish." A single protein bar constitutes Jessica's snack before supper, which consists of beef fajitas or a "small piece of steak" with green veggies.

It's peanut butter jelly time! Jessica's big "splurge" is a banana mushed up with peanut butter. Now, if she were to add that to her morning meal, she'd actually have a complete breakfast!

By my calculations, this meal plan equals less than 1000 calories per day (more like 800 or 900)! The lowest recommended daily caloric intake is 1200, which means that Jessica is essentially starving herself.

Simpson told Us, "I am being strict on the 'eat no crap' diet." It sounds to me like she's being strict on the "eat as little as possible" diet! You'd think she was preparing for a sequel to "The Dukes of Hazzard" (for humanity's sake, let's hope not!). Someone should remind Daisy that her Dukes days are over!

Along with a strict exercise regime, Jessica reportedly lost eight pounds in two weeks, which is both unnatural and unhealthy (most health officials recommend losing one pound per week). If Jessica, who previously claimed to be a "meat and potatoes kind of girl," continues to eat this way, I doubt she'll be doing much strutting in the future.

But I have to admit, she does look hot in the photos featured by Us (definitely not anorexic-looking). So eat your heart out, Nick Lachey, because your ex-wife clearly isn't doing much eating these days.

Paris says, "Curves are hot!"

The famously svelte heiress has reportedly gained eight pounds since 2003, and it's apparent in her curvier, more feminine figure. "Life is too short to be worrying about diets," she claims. "Enjoy life--eat carbs at night if you want."

AMEN TO THAT SISTER! And it's about time!!!

Taco Bell, McDonald's and cupcakes are all favourites of the fun-loving fashionista, who isn't the only star in tinsel town to transform both her body and her outlook. Stars such as Kelly Clarkson, Amanda Bynes, Kristy Swanson, and Anne Hathaway have all put on a few pounds in recent months and are looking better than ever!

The shift toward shapelier figures was inevitable, according to eating-disorder specialist Cheryl Dellasega. "Having to constantly think about eating and food is exhausting," she says. Ain't that the truth!

My favourite girls from Sex in the City have once again inspired me...

While I was avidly "window shopping" online, I noticed that Pier 1 has a bridal registry, which got me to thinking how exciting it would be to have one of my own...Sadly, I'm not planning on getting married anytime soon (Of course I'm more disappointed about not having a bridal registry than not having a boyfriend).

But then I remembered Samantha Jones' "I'm not having a baby (Everybody drink!)" party that she threw for herself in Season 1, and I imagined how fun it would be to have an "I'm not getting married (Cheers to that!)" party (or an "I'm single and fabulous" party, if you will ;))!

At a time when so many of my friends seem to be pairing off and getting married, why not celebrate being unattached and independent? We could even create our own bridal registries (online using fake names, of course) & then draw names out of a hat to choose who will buy for who...kind of like a Secret Santa. In fact, this party would be perfect to host around Christmas time!

It may sound silly, but if Carrie Bradshaw can register herself for a pair of Manolos to replace the ones that were stolen at her friend's party, then anything goes! ;)

What Constitutes "Curvy"?

In a recent issue, In Touch Magazine celebrated so-called "curvy" celebrities, such as Beyonce Knowles and Jessica Simpson. I think it's fantastic that society is starting to recognize curves as being beautiful. It's about time that the media stops promoting an impossible image that very few people could ever hope to attain (unless they were to practically starve themselves, work out several hours each day, have their own personal trainers, make-up artists, stylists, etc., and have their bodies airbrushed in photographs).

But as I was reading the article, I got to thinking, just what constitutes "curvy" anyways? It wasn't so long ago that Jessica Simpson's ribs were protruding in pictures. Apparently she's gained a couple pounds since then, but even in recent photos she still sports flat, rock hard abs. One source even stated, "She doesn't have an ounce of fat on her." So what makes Jessica Simpson curvaceous?

Simply put, she has big boobs and a shapely butt, but is still toned from head to toe. So is this a more "realistic" image that will make young girls feel better about their own bodies and teach them to celebrate their curves? Yes and no. While this new image defies the skinny ideal, it still promotes an image that is not possible for every girl to attain. Personally, I think it makes girls who don't have large breasts or tight abs feel even more inferior. A girl can diet and work out like crazy to lose weight, but in order to achieve Jessica's look, she either has to be blessed with great genes...or with enough money and guts to go under the knife.

If In Touch really wants to promote "curvy" women, then why don't they feature celebrities like Kate Winslet, Mariah Carey, America Ferrara, and other sexy, curvaceous stars who don't necessarily have rock hard abs, but are beautiful nonetheless? I think that Dove had it right when they chose regular women as their spokesmodels. I just wish that the rest of the world could follow suit.

Humourous Celebrity Snippets

Potshots at Paris

Starpulse.com just announced that Paris Hilton, who recently described her style as "princess," has purchased the plot next to Marilyn Monroe's grave to bury her beloved pet goat, Billy...I'm really not sure which is more disturbing: the fact that Paris is placing a goat next to icon Marilyn Monroe or the fact that prissy Paris even owned a pet goat to begin with. I shudder to think what the cause of death may have been. She really does seem to change her pets like she changes her boyfriends. With her numerous chihuahuas, ferrets, rotweiler, and confiscated kinkajou (although according to Metro newspaper, she must have gotten it back, because it recently bit her...Can we blame it?), Paris seems to be embarking on a new business venture: owning a zoo! Guess the music business isn't quite working out for her.

And speaking of Marilyn Monroe, Paris Hilton recently claimed, "I think every decade has an iconic blonde, including Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana, and right now I'm that icon." However, according to a poll conducted by a reputable magazine, Paris Hilton is last on the list of celebrities who fans view as this generation's "iconic blonde." Topping the list was Reese Witherspoon and Jessica Simpson. Sorry Paris!

The lowdown on La Lohan

Equally as entertaining is the serial dater and car crasher, Lindsay Lohan. A recent newspaper article indicated that Lindsay allegedly had her first fight with boyfriend Harry Morton. To ease her pain, Lindsay — in true La Lohan style — partied all night and then had a "small fender bender" on the way home...Now, I think I speak for all North Americans when I ask, could somebody please confiscate this girl's car keys already?! I mean, isn't it obvious by now that she CAN'T drive?? For crying out loud...

"Damn it, Janet!"

In the August 21 edition of OK magazine, Janet Jackson claimed that her worst diet cheat was a Bellini...Yes that's right, folks: one measly Bellini! I think I speak for all of us girls who, from time to time, binge on chocolates, cookies, and ice cream (often all at once) when I say, bite me, Janet!